Thinking of Him =)

Every time I am around him, within feet of each other, I want to grab him and I kiss him. He makes me smile so much. I love it. =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)

MOVED ON!! WOOOHOOO!!!!

So I am a flirt. Most people are to some extent, but I love it.
When I want to be serious I am. Right now I just want to have fun and get to know people.

Been talking to someone a lot lately, flirty and all. It's fun he has sent me over 800 emails lately.. LOL

I guess we had stuff to say.. :) Anyways, its not going anywhere, just fun to talk and flirt. Hes a pretty awesome guy, I have a lot of respect for him.

crazy dreams

The other night i had a dream that my ex and I were hanging out and he grabbed my face and said "ITS OVER". WOW it has been over for a really long time, and I probably have been doing better then if i were with him.

I guess unconsciously i wanted to be with him or something. even though i am pretty happy with out him. not to sure how hes doing but if he is looking to God then he should be doing just as good as i am.

anyways those are just thoughts from this last week..

Tired of HURTING!

I am tired of hurting, tired of trying to fill my life with work friends and things to not think of the one person i still love.

Loving someone is hard, letting go is even harder.

I am still in love with the guy that I truly fell in love with and gave my whole heart to. Stupid thing I know, I just thought i would be with him forever. But as far as I know their is someone else out there for me. But i still don't want to think about that.

lost and confused and hurt

Thought i would feel better by now, but I'm not, I'm jealous, irritated, hurt but not intentionally, feel like i lost him, but I love him and this is why i get hurt so much because i cant seem to let him go even though he is moving on with his life, seeing girls fall all over Daniel sickens me, makes me feel that he has any choice over anyone but it wont be me again. Im not sure how to change, and im not sure how to not let things hurt me, its hard when you care about someone. =( im lost and not making sence.

something he didnt know about me, when i am with someone like when i was with him or my other ex boyfriend i would always feel they would find someone better then I while with me and would leave me for them. yes they might not do that but that is how i have always felt, and i believe that will always screw things up in my relationships with any guy, but im not sure how to change my way of thinking.

Trusting in the one who can truly help

So i have been really depressed lately because i have no job, and been thinking about my man moving across the state, which im not to happy about, because i always want to be with him. anyways these bible verses really help me.

A Psalm of David.


1Do not fret because of evildoers,
Be not envious toward wrongdoers.
2For they will wither quickly like the grass
And fade like the green herb.
3Trust in the LORD and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
4Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
5Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
6He will bring forth your righteousness as the light
And your judgment as the noonday.
7Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.
8Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.